Little Sorrowed Talk
by Dolores Storey
Summary: After three years of unanswered questions, Kidman reenters Sebastian's life. Filled with whiskey and rage, Seb is determined to understand what happened to him in S.T.E.M, but will he get the answers he's looking for? Or will he receive something else entirely? SebKid.


Sebastian stumbled into his shambled apartment and grabbed his dead cell phone

plugged into the wall. He looked around the living room at all the decaying boxes as he turned on the device. The moment it powered on, the phone made a small _ding_.

Voicemail? Probably a debt collector or a wrong number. He decided to humor himself and hear the message. No amount of alcohol could have prepared him for the voice on the other side.

"Sebastian… For three years since Beacon happened, you've been searching for answers. You didn't find what you were looking for because _they_ didn't want you to. Mobius knows you've been following us and they've been watching you for a long time. You trained and trusted me and in return... I betrayed you. Long before we met you lost your daughter, Lily. She's still alive. This is your chance to save her. To get back what you lost. Lily needs you. You're gonna have to go back into S.T.E.M.… again."

Fueled by whiskey and rage the detective spent only a few hours tracing the number to an apartment complex in the slums of downtown. It looked abandoned and smelled like every drug humanity could possibly produce. Sebastian spent no time entering the building as dawn began to shine its first rays over Krimson city.

"Hey, buddy!" A man in his early twenties stumbled into the hall, a rotten grin smiling at the detective. "I know you! You're Joe, right? You sold me that good shit last week!" Sebastian ignored him, choosing to walk forward and pretend the man never existed.

"Wait, Joe!" The guy rushed up behind him, "You know something, buddy?" He coughed heavily, nearly falling over, "You're gonna die in here."

"Listen, I don't know who Joe is," Sebastian shoved him off and towards the wall, "But get the fuck away from me."

His route returned to silence as he looked from door to door. He repeated the number over in his head until he spotted the entrance out of the corner of his eye. Apartment 208. He didn't even knock, he didn't even try the handle. He made sure his boots were tied before he lifted his leg and roundhouse kicked the apartment door. Suddenly the door swung open the moment foot hit wood.

She hadn't changed in the past three years. There she was, standing on the other side on the door, a dull look on her face. Kidman sighed deeply before turning away, walking deeper into her apartment.

It was silent as Sebastian followed her into the kitchen where she got a glass of water. She took a small sip before leading him into a small bathroom. Once again, no dialogue was shared. It was as if Kidman didn't even recognize his existence. What was she thinking? More importantly, what was she planning? Clearing her throat, Juli opened the cupboard behind the mirror and took out a small prescription bottle.

"Vicoden," she said finally, shaking a tablet into her palm, "Great for pain."

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Sebastian glared at her as she swallowed the pill and put the glass into the sink. She cleared he throat and took off her jacket. "Okay, go ahead."

Confusion filled his mind. "What?"

A somber chuckle. "Vicoden is for the pain." Kidman shook her head and rested against the sink. "You're angry, you deserve to be, so take your frustration out on someone who deserves it. I mean you don't even need permission at this point but if you want it, then you have it. Beat the living hell out of me. Get over your fury before we talk. Just don't knock me out and don't leave something that can scar, deal?"

She didn't need to say anymore. His mind clicked into action. He didn't need answers for his questions, he didn't need any more permission. To hell with it.

Sebastian grabbed the glass in the sink and without a second thought bashed it over Kidman's head.

She still remained unphased, only letting a small grimace slip as she wiped blood from her forehead. He was far from pleased by the response and backhanded her as hard as he could. Every hit was worse than the other until finally the only thing he could do to make it worse was to scream.

"What the fuck are you thinking?" Sebastian yelled, shoving her hard against the wall. No response, which only made it worse. He had trained her, practically took care of her and she only betrayed him. Well now it was time for revenge.

He punched her hard and bashed at anything that he could break. Ribs, arms, he even imagined snapping her spine for a moment. But before his fists could act, his mouth slipped.

"You think you can just call me up after _three goddamn years_ with a pathetic apology? Then bring up my daughter?" Lily's smile flashed in his mind, causing him to slap his old partner across the face. "Do you know what you've done? The things you made me see?" Another kick and shove, he couldn't control himself now. Ever action was simply impulse. "I lost everything I've ever loved! Myra! Lily! Joseph! You! Do you even understand how that feels?"

Every blow was harder and harder to swing. His chest filled with anguish as he took a moment to see the damage he had done.

Kidman had looked worse, but she had looked a hell of a lot better. She coughed heavy before spitting blood on the floor. Her hair was caked red and even stained her shirt as she gripped her waist to sooth her ribs. God, what had he done?

He felt himself hit to the ground, as the old alcohol churned in his stomach with uneasy speed. "What am I doing?" He thought out loud, looking down at his bruised knuckles. His vision clouded with salty tears. Was he really taking his anger out on Juli for what she had done… or what _he_ had done?

"We all need to blame someone for what makes us hurt." finally Kidman spoke. She knelt down in front of him, taking his hands into her own. "There's nothing wrong with that. I expected it. I looked for something or someone to blame for years, but the only person there was, was myself." She wiped the cut on her lip, "That's why I called you. I saw you suffer, I saw you hurt. I lost the people I loved too." Her callused hands grew soft as she gently caressed his palms.

"I could only blame myself for you and Joseph. And then the blame grew after last month." Kidman sighed, her breath shaky as she spotted the old bandages around Sebastian's hand and wrist. "You need to clean the wound or you'll end up losing a hand. What are you even using as an antiseptic? Vodka?"

Sebastian shook his hand from her grasp. "Don't focus on it. I nearly bashed your head in. You…" A sigh, "You should take care of yourself. Go to the hospital."

Kidman ignored him and with shaky legs, stood up and went to her medicine cabinet. Grabbing a dark bottle and cloth bandages she returned to her seat in front of her partner.

"Emotions lead us to dangerous mistakes." She softly spoke. Carefully, she removed the bandage, revealing deep cuts across his palm and down his wrist.

"Alcohol to numb it and Daddy's old pocket knife to cut it, right?"

Seb shook his head, "You don't know what you're talking about."

Kidman didn't respond as she cared for the wound, patting peroxide onto it.

"This'll sting." She warned before pouring a small amount of rubbing alcohol onto the long cut. Seb jumped, digging his nails into her wrist. That's when he felt it, a deep crevice lining Kidman's inner wrist. It matched his, but was now scarred white and faded. How did he never see it before? When did it happen? Did he know her then?

"No matter how good the reason was then," Said Kidman, wrapping up his wrist, "the moment you wake up in a puddle of your own blood still alive do you realize that sometimes running from the problem is the last thing you should do. But I always ran. I never learned. Ever since I was a kid, I'd just run. I'd just escape from pain, from love, from everything."

For a moment, he forgot how much he missed her. He had spent so long hating her and everything she stood for that he forgot the good things about her.

"I… I'm sorry." He muttered, finally looking at her in her eyes. He had forgotten the little things he had always admired on her. The small scar in her cheek, her faded red lipstick. She still remained the person he cared so dearly for, years ago.

"Don't apologize," Juli sighed, a hand gently grazing his cheek, "we all cope in our own ways. You fight, I run. It's human instinct."

Seb's mentality changed for a moment. His anger had faded and for a brief second in time and it was the summer of 2013 again.

They were drunk and Joseph was nearly asleep on the couch beside them. Sebastian had never seen Kidman's apartment before. It was decorated in simplistic art and smelled sweet from the few candles lit around the room. They had just finished a rather difficult case and were proud of themselves. To celebrate the trio went to the local pub to celebrate.

Kidman had her head rested on her partner's shoulder. She shared the same perfume as Myra once had but it was melted into the scent of whiskey.

For the first time since he had lost his wife and Lily, he felt happy. He thought that for a moment he was surrounded by people who cared for him as much as he did for them.

With his eyes closed he felt Kidman's fingers intertwine with his. Her movements were slow and her hair tickled his neck as she turned Sebastian's head.

"Thank you." She whispered, before her chapped lips gently kissed his.

As the night grew later the trio revealed themselves to each other with nibbles and soft touches. Skin to skin and lips to lips the three went from partners to lovers. Through dangerous case after case and frequent bickering their bond never faltered. Not until S.T.E.M

Now, after all those years that torn bond began to mend as Sebastian wiped a tear from Kidman's cheek.

"I never want you to forgive me. I just want to help you. It's why I called you to begin with." She sighed. Seb ran his grasp over her jaw with gentle graze. "That's the problem. I'll always forgive you." And after three years he finally was reunited with her soft kiss.

It was as though for a moment S.T.E.M never happened. It was the same summer night. He even thought for a split second that he heard Joseph's voice.

"I never stopped loving you."

Kidman pressed her head against Seb's. "And I never forgave myself."

"We have time to fix this." Sebastian said, although he wasn't entirely sure. Kidman may have looked the same, even acted the same, but for all he knew she was prepared to betray him again.

However, he still found himself trusting her. "I won't leave you with more questions than answers." Kidman muttered, combing fingers through his hair, "I won't let you get hurt again, Seb."

A moment of silence as her swollen lips trembled. "I love you even after all of this. Let me help you. I don't deserve your trust, not anymore, but I want to make up for what Mobius did to you - what _I_ did to you. I'm not holding back anymore secrets. Not again."

"Then tell me what you left." Sebastian sighed. "You just ran when I needed you the most. You just dropped off the face of the earth. No one believed me about S.T.E.M. I thought I was crazy, that it never existed… and for a second I thought you never existed either."

"You're right, I did run. It's all I know to do, like I said." She shook her head and sniffled, "I ran from everything. I ran away from home, I tried to run away from my own existence but I'd fail. I thought the only way I'd live was to just listen to my superiors but I couldn't do that anymore either. Mobius has been watching you for years and when I saw you in that hospital bed last month after what you tried to do… I could only see myself lying there like I had countless times before." This time, Juli couldn't control the tears running down her face. "I'm done running. I'm done letting people control me. I'll tell you anything you want, answers, names, reasons. I want to help the only person who actually wanted to help me when I needed it the most."

Sebastian shook his head before sitting up to pull her into his embrace. "I only want you, Kid, we'll figure out everything else later. Okay?"

"Then what do we do now?"

"We mend the bonds that wore away. We're so stubborn, we could never communicate our feelings. Let's change that first, right now, okay?"

The next movements were slow. Just as years before, Kidman's hand trailed down before grasping his. Her breath was sharp as she leaned forward, testing the waters as lips barely caressed his. He pressed against her, causing her to tense under his kiss. He wrapped his arm around her back, bringing Juli close to his chest.

Seb could feel her smile and her fingers ever so carefully inched down his torso. "Come with me." She whispered, pulling him up with her.

"Wait," he paused, touching a tacky clump of her hair, "you're still bleeding. You're going to hurt yourself."

A laugh - soft, docile, reminiscent. "We've slept together when I was worse. It's okay." Juli tugged on his arm, stepping backwards before leading him out of the bathroom and down the hall. She kissed him deeply, barely focusing on the door handle behind her. With a click it unlatched. She pulled him in by his belt with a sly grin. A kiss on his cheek, his bearded jaw, his shoulder, slowly dipping down onto her knees.

With ease she removed the leather band and unzipped his worn trousers. She looked up at him, nearly laughing as he shivered. He had to admit, sex was the very last thing he was expecting but as her hot breath embraced him he was enthralled with how the situation developed.

His breath hitched and he gripped down onto her head, careful not to hurt her. However it became harder to be cautious as her wet mouth slowly teased the tip of his cock.

Sebastian yanked her back with a labored gasp. "S-shit." He swallowed hard before pulling her up, practically lifting her off her feet. "A warning first," Seb chuckled, gripping her chin. He nuzzled her nose against his, kissing her unusually softly before clutching at the buttons of her shirt. "Take it slow."

Kidman smirked, fingers grazing his as he unfastened each pearly white clasp.

He shook his head, dipping down to kiss her bare neck, "let me just... take you in."

Kidman laughed under her breath, allowing him.

The scent of her perfume intoxicated him. He slid the shirt down her before tossing it to the floor.

Sebastian let in every inch of her, trying to burn her into his mind. Her new bruises cloaking faded scars. The strands of brown and blonde intertwined into her bobbed hair. She was perfect in an amazing flawed way.

Reaching forward he ran his fingers over the lace of her black bra. Back when the two of them worked together she would purposely wear bras one could make out from under her shirt just to tease him.

"You really have never changed, have you?" He kissed her bruised collarbone, fingers pressing into her hips as he moved her towards the bed.

Skin burned the moment they touched. Her soft, fair complexion stung him to his core. Every fiber of his being missed her so deeply that her mere embrace was painful. Juli's thighs were tight around his waist and he laid her down on the soft cotton sheets. With a soft chuckle, she leaned up, lips grazing over his. She was addicting. Sebastian didn't think he had ever kissed her so strongly before. She was like a drug and he never wanted to part from her perfect form.

Rough knuckles grazed upwards starting at her hips and up to cup her cheek, however she reached up to take his hand in hers.

Sebastian broke their embrace for a moment, inspecting the beauty beneath him. He loosened his grasp between their fingers and ran his thumb down the faded scar on her wrist. Carefully he pulled her arm up, kissing it softly. Kidman leaned up, nuzzling her forehead against his.

"I forgot how much I missed everything about you you." He whispered, scooting her onto his lap.

He felt her soft lips over his eyelids, "I love you, Sebastian." Something about her voice sounded… off, almost as if he was underwater.

He opened his eyes but she was filtered in white. Suddenly Sebastian was in a different environment. The warm walls of Kidman's bedroom was replaced with medical chrome.

"You have to stay still!" He heard he yell as she knelt in front of him. Suddenly his heart jumped when he realized he was submerged in a thin white fluid. He couldn't breath, he could barely move. Where the hell was he? The more he tried to move the harder it was.

"Seb! Seb, stop!" Juli pushed him deeper into the liquid, "You can breathe. Just stay still. You need to go back into S.T.E.M and find Lily." she was visibly upset as he fought to breathe. Black specks began to fill his vision. If he didn't breathe, he'd pass out. Instinct flooded his mind and his lungs forced the milky substance deep into his chest, causing sharp pains in every inch of his body. What was happening? What was happening? Was he in S.T.E.M? How did he even get there? And God, why did everything sting. Suddenly Kidman neared him, nearly breaching whatever he was sunk into. "I'm so sorry. I know it hurts. Just close your eyes." Was she… crying? The pain stopped as he tried to reach up to grasp for her. He couldn't see her hurt.

Juli pushed his arm back under the surface. "I'll do everything I can to protect you, Seb. Just know that I love you."

White flashed to black ink. He couldn't see, he couldn't feel, he couldn't hear - wait, was was that? A noise. Quiet, but sharp. Was that… a camera clicking?

And then her voice. "Run, Sebastian! Run!"


End file.
